So, I did it. I joined a fancy gym. It would be a gym that, for the rest of my life, I will compare all other gyms too. My first day waiting for the doors to open, I got to hang out in the warm fuzzy lobby of the Ritz and have a conversation about the viability of the hockey market in the south with the GM of an NHL team. Normal gym would have been freezing outside and complaining with someone about how “so and so is ALWAYS late.” So here it is – my comparison of a fancy gym and real life.
First thing the the morning – fancy gym greets me by name and says good morning. How do you know my name? It’s only my second day! Real life greeting on my way there grunted and I had to flag him down to order a damn latte.
Fancy gym has people that hold doors open to you , and smile and say hello when you are near them in the the locker room or come up onto the machine next to them. Real life gives you a dirty look (if they look at you at all), and then lets the door shut on you when you’re on crutches. Seriously -who does that?!?!
Fancy gym has a concierge that offers to steam your clothes while you are working out. Real life, the guy that does my laundry mumbled “there are other places to go” when I just paid $25 for him to ruin two shirts and then not put everything back in the basket (cause why is that harder to do?!?!)
Fancy gym has a bathroom that is attached to a eucalyptus steam room. While you are on the toilet, you get a faint hint of warm and eucalyptus. Real life kinda smells like….well…you get the picture.